Intrusion

Some people call it an epiphany, a revelation.

Seeing the world in a different aspect, it made me realize loyalty, honesty & trust are just a folklore. Literally dumbfounded knowing this, it's like living in a world with a depleting amount of air. Nothing feels right nor wrong, there are no consciousness left in the world. This absence proves that not everyone should be trusted. Trust builds with time, and i for one need to learn this.

But what am i but a spec in the world, a little voice, that aught to learn more in life.

Instinct.

They say when your at the brink of an emotional climax is when the best pieces of writings come from. Whether it be fury or sadness, whether it is from impulse or a structured ideology.
Madness, insanity, nor distress could express the raw wild feeling that is engulfing myself.
Broken glasses, upside down wardrobes, uncensored words, that feeling of having a million fireflies in your gut and that oh so tempting crave to just break something.
Personas, panoramas, perspectives, point of view are all void, worthless, Nada.
The only real thing to be taken into consider is that own personal private want and need, screw whats important, screw what the worlds perspective of you.
An emotion is like an untamed pet, it is best to let it roam free, to let it do what it wants, but once it bites the hand that feeds it then precautions are needed. I've been always patient, but if its the last straw then it is. Trying to write without the installation of swearing is nearly impossible.
Stupid, unreasonable, mischievous thinking is what lurks behind anxiety, that is what fuels it, that feeling of suspicion and that lack of trust, that feeling of curiosity, that insanity.
Let's be honest, the world itself is insane, there is not one spec in the universe itself that lacks the least of insanity.
A sane world only happens in dreams, myths, folklores.
Although i feel as stupid as one of the kids from freedom writers, i just need somewhere to channel all my anger without breaking anything.

chaw for naw.

on hiatus from everything. except twitter and msn.

Mocks are tomorrow.

untilwemeetagain

xx

hard work!!

"Working gets in the way of living."

Immense is the right word to describe this week's workload! From media Evaluations to History Plan essays to Physical Geo readings cramped up to one sunday afternoon is not fun. Thank god i have a mix of Benassi & Tiesto to help me get through this.

Aside from that my mocks are in 3 weeks, which gets me nervous every time i think about it.

Recently i've pledged to Earth Hour where you as an individual turn off all your electrical appliances and lights for an hour at 8:30 on the 27th of this month.

Give back to nature, since your always taking it. Click her for what you can do.

Twitter has been having its pms lately ( the past hour or two). I can't seem to see any of my friends tweets on my homepage(both the web & tweetdeck) i only see all my tweets which is weird. haha

Blog you up soon blogger.
Dulo. xx

stab me pls.

i hate media. i lack the creativity, and i'm better off doing psycho instead. I prefer pages long essays than doing representation/codes conventions/audiences/institutions.

fml!

Too mucho!

Hallo Senors and Senor-itas!

Or Pabor! I am peeling healthy, incredible since i was literally imprisoned on my bed, cause i was siccccck! well still am, but the fever's gone so i peel mucho stronger! Mucho Gracias El Medicino.

Well last weekend or was it 2 weekends before on the 20th we had a geo trip to Temburong, which i survived! And i love every aspect of it, from the early mornings getting woken up by the azan to the 'calling shotgun' on showerstalls to the neverending redbull stocks to chilling at our usual 'Teh C Special' hangout place to minimart prowls to the late night talks to the scavas (i have no idea how you spell it) lookouts to the feeling of envy that the girls have wifi to the taking turns in using the plug to the early morning rotis to the 7pm sharp dinner buffets to the sitting in group clusters to the late night tip toes to the badass boat rides to the helicopter watchouts at the padi fields to the bumpy bus rides to the pressurized work to late night chillfests. I miss every little thing about the geo trip, and i underestimated Temburong's capability to entertain even with us being deprived of internet. See, i survived! it's amazing. Meaning to say that, never judge the book by its cover, don't judge anything before you experienced it. I love temburong, and i wouldn't mind going there for a day or two to just have a rest from the urban life.

So even if you are a 100% urban you need some rest from it aswell, explore the wilderness, do something outrageous. Have fun! and bring good company. The best vacation needs best companies not best locations.

Idiocracy

I try to live my life to the fullest, to take every detail of life and learn it cherish it. But sometimes when life has no more meaning you take things for granted, you take things to climax, you become over emotional, you forget the reason to live, to enjoy life, to cherish it.

I am lost in a tunnel with no exits. I feel empty, alone. Like a car waiting to crash and burn.

It's hard to be me, try being me for a day and you'll feel it.

March means nothing to me now, nothing at all.

Happy Birthday Bestfriend!

A HUGE HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY GOES OUT TO MY BESTFRIEND! MISTER AZHIIM LATIF! LOVE YOU TONS BRAAH. ( we were rapping to nasty girl - big notorious) hahaha forever our song nigger!!

Happy CNY!

Starting off this post i would say my life lately has been awesome or some would like to call it Awesomely awethoooom. Apart from the neverending splurges of ice blendeds, i haven't been taking good care of my health nor have i been keeping track of my weight, plus chinese new year was last weekend and boy did i eat gallon.

School hasn't been that great lately, thanks to the mounting stress due to the upcoming exams which is getting closer each day but nevertheless i am loving February thanks to the every-week-holiday we've been getting.

So in not so many words, i am loving life right now. Trying to get even with my past, to make amends and also to live life at the same time.

And i intend to make this feeling last.

the letdowns,
the breakdowns,
screw it.

Happy Chinese New year people! xx

To not know what you want, to not know what you need, to not know what you are.

Uncountable really, the number of times I've dealt with the multitudes aspects of life, the wallows, the decisions & the goodbyes. I love my life, i love
everything that defines it, my family, friends and up to the tiniest little bits of it. I love every aspect of every thing i decide, the bad and the good. It's just
sometimes in life, you need control over your life whether it's because life is moving too fast or too slow for you. When the world is against you, be brave
and fight. When the world looks down at you, you stand proud. And when the world knocks you down, you get back up. I have made sordid decisions in
my life, and yes I've had those times when if possible i could rewind and undo the things i regret; the what ifs, the if onlys. But here i am still hanging.
Coming from a person with only 16 years of life experience, i don't expect seriousness or reliability in my words, I'm still a novice; but what i have to
say comes from what i believe, what i live by.

Everyone hates the fact that they have quirks & flaws, for me it is what differentiates us from 'average'. It personalizes us, defines us, sculpts us.
Through life with emotions on tow, it's practically inevitable to go through hardships, heartbreaks, breakdowns as that is what life is similar to us
filled with flaws as well. There is no actual definition for life, this is because every single living thing has their own definition for it. This is why life
is precious.

You only live once, so go and live it.